Today’s early morning sadness has entirely turned itself around :)

So today (Thursday May 3rd, as far as I’m concerned) marked the date of an exciting event: Marvel’s The Avengers was to premiere tonight at midnight, which meant, for the rest of us comic geeks, that all of today and tonight would consist of an even more exciting event. Marvel made a pact with AMC Theaters to produce the Marvel Ultimate Avengers Marathon: Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, Iron Man 2, Thor 3D, Captain America: The First Avenger 3D, and finally, the midnight premiere of Avengers 3D. To say the very least (and to say it in the least embarrassing way), I was stoked.

I’m sure you can imagine my terror when I found that the tickets had sold out just as I was about to purchase one.

I had spent all week (maybe all of the last fortnight) trying to find a companion or two to go with. My birthday was two weeks ago, and I thought it would be nice to go to this marathon with a couple friends. Unfortunately, not many people were interested. In fact, I even got so desperate at one point as to post it on the second-rate hodgepodge that is the Loyola University Class of 2015 Facebook Group Page. And as it turns out, the friends that were interested all had excessive workloads before finals, a final the following morning, even class, despite the fact that the last day of classes was yesterday (Wednesday May 2nd, as far as I’m concerned). So I ended up wallowing in sadness while drifting in and out of sleep all night long.

As it turns out though, the empty notion to “stick it to the man and fucking go for it anyway” became a reality after some encouragement from the world of Facebook and my friends at school as well as an aggressive pep talk from Becky. I grabbed $80 and took a shot. Worst comes to worst, I get booted out and lose the money I paid in the cab both ways, right? I thought It would be worth a shot. And it was! I paid $5 to get into the 11:30 AM showing of Mirror, Mirror, which I have never heard of nor do I hope to hear of it again. Actually, I’m pretty surprised that the lady didn’t stop me right then and there, considering our conversation went along the lines of “Hey, are there any Marvel Ultimate Marathon passes left?” “No, sorry.” “Then can I get one to Mirror, Mirror at 11:30 then. Thanks…”

So I waltz right into the theater that ends up being the housing point for the Ultimate Marathon. I’m blown back by how many other people are wearing costumes, Avengers t-shirts, accessories as cool and trendy as an Iron Man-style chest piece (the only Marvel swag I have is the Hebrew Spider-Man shirt that Jeff got me from Israel, so I figured that was my best option). At the time, I felt conflicting senses of brotherhood through my fellow geeks but also fits of jealousy and rage. Yeah, they’re also geeks, but how many real people have this much time on a Thursday to sit here for 12+ hours? Why could they get tickets but I couldn’t?

But anyway. It only goes up from here. Here’s the kicker. Between welcoming all of their guests and beginning Iron Man, two movie workers asked to see anyone who didn’t receive a lanyard, which was the memorabilia/ticket-in-and-out-of-the-theater-all-day-long that every pass member received on their way in (along with rad Avengers-themed 3D glasses). The guy even used the phrase “right now”, so I immediately grabbed my things and expected to be kicked out. I didn’t have the 3D glasses anyway, so if I got booted now, at least I wouldn’t really be losing anything. Only me and another man went up. He was wearing an urban-style hologram(?) shirt with the Captain America logo on it. I let him go first, just because I was nervous and I knew I would be embarrassed if I got kicked out right there in front of him. So this guy goes, “Man, never hand a woman anything!” and goes on to talk about how his girlfriend put his pass away and misplaced it. So the movie guy signs a little Post-It note and gives it to this other dude and tells him to enjoy. Meanwhile, I’m just standing there like, “Uhhhh…” but end up turning into something like, “Yeah. Me too.” And the guy didn’t ask any questions and gave me the same Post-It.

WHOA. THAT’S IT. I’M IN.

No one could hold me back now! I just paid $5 for what people paid $40 to do! I’M A PART OF THIS MARATHON. Sort of. I still wanted a lanyard to make it official, and, even more importantly, I knew that I would still be missing out if I didn’t have a pair of 3D glasses. So after Iron Man ended, I headed out to Guest Services, which is a thing that AMC Elmwood has, apparently. I recycled hologram-Captain’s story and told her that my girlfriend lost my lanyard and glasses, (little did she know that Becky has been in New Jersey this whole time! Muahahaha!) and I showed her the note that the other movie man had given me. She directed me towards the lady in front, who in addition to guiding guests to their theaters, was responsible for all of today’s Ultimate Marathon swag. So I head over there and tell her the deal. She tries to mic in to her superior, but after a couple awkward minutes of waiting, she just asked the teenage girl from Guest Services who had just helped me out. She gave the older woman the okay and I was good to go! She put the lanyard on me, and THAT was when I felt like a part of the Marathon community. Unfortunately, the old woman also informed me that the limited edition glasses had gone quickly, and that she could only offer me a regular pair. They would suffice, but from a geek’s perspective, the more collectible (and the more superhero-themed), the better. I took solace in the fact that she didn’t recognize me after guiding me towards Mirror, Mirror and headed back to catch The Incredible Hulk.

Hulk was cool. I love Edward Norton, I love that this version is 546782364729387462703 times better than the shitty one from ‘03, and I feel that I have a special connection with this movie because it starts out in a favela in Brazil, then moves to Spanish speaking countries. Rad! Also there were a bunch of references that I caught. BUT I’LL GET TO MOVIE REVIEWS LATA. Afterwards, I tried to hang out around the entrance into Theater 6 and buy Iron Man 3D glasses off of someone who was offering. There were 4 sets of special 3D glasses: Iron Man, Hulk, Captain America, and Thor. And let me tell you, the Iron Man ones are SIIIIICK. I was sitting next to a black couple the whole time and the dude was like, “Damn, I wanted a pair of those. I love the two-tone.” I like the two-tone color scheme as well. But I think the shape was what got me. ANYWAY. This particular bout was unsuccessful. It was hard to try to ask people to buy their glasses off of them because:

1. I knew that I ran the risk of stealing this golden opportunity from another geek who wanted them.
2. I first thought older people would be more willing to give them up, but BOY was I wrong. There was one dude with this CRAZY deep V-neck, a large ponytail sticking out the back of his shitty-looking cap, and a weird Egyptian-cross pendant around his neck. It hung right on top of his chest hair where his V-neck shirt really should have been covering.
3. I knew there had to be someone who wouldn’t care that much about selling their glasses off, but I also knew it would be hard to determine what that person looked like. They definitely couldn’t be wearing even so much as a Captain America pin.

So I headed back in and watched Iron Man 2. It was pretty cool. Again, movie reviews coming later. Finally, I found my guy! All it took was one more venture out and a little bit of courage, but I found a guy who looked hesitant at first, but then immediately came out with, “You know, I’m really not gonna wear these after today, so sure.” He even looked like he would’ve done it without me paying him! But I figured I would anyway. A little reward for a truly kind act is always welcomed, right? I bought them for ten bucks and had thus achieved a great feat: not only did I sneak into the sold-out Marvel Ultimate Marathon, but I had reaped all of the benefits that I would have by purchasing a $40 pass with only $15.

At this point, I’m on top of the world! And I got them just in time! Thor 3D was the next movie to be played. But first, an extended break (45 minutes rather than 20), which meant food. I remembered seeing a couple fast food chains on the way in, so after receiving some guidance from a fellow movie-goer (obviously a cool dad), I headed out. I made a giant two-block hike (really big blocks. I walked across a movie theater parking lot and a strip mall and then crossed ANOTHER street) and found myself in a situation that I never could have imagined. I was truly lucky to have to choose between such eateries.

Taco Bell or Raising Cane’s?

I ended up going with Cane’s because I can get Taco Bell at home in a week. I ordered my food, hiked back with time to spare, was told “no outside food”, gobbled up my very delicious meal, and headed back in after only missing maybe a minute of Thor.

From here on in, movie-watching was smooth sailing. I treated myself to real movie snacks between Captain America and Avengers for a job well done during the day. After all, I was having a blast, considering the risks I took and their incredible outcomes. I felt like my own superhero!

And LET ME TELL YOU, Avengers was FANTASTIC. All six heroes and Nick Fury rocked my socks off, as well as a few other characters (namely, Agent Coulson). Loki played a much more formidable villain, and the story made sense. Remember how the first Transformers movie was a huge knock out of the park because it blended action-packed adventure with great points of comedy? Expect basically the same thing from Avengers. I don’t want to ruin it for anyone that hasn’t gotten around to seeing it yet, but DAMN, I was geeking out. I hope you do too!

So here are my movie reviews for the marathon. Keep in mind that they showed them in the order that they premiered chronologically, which is an awesome idea, by the way. Here we go:

• Iron Man: Awesome. It always has been. Seeing Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark is probably the biggest pleasure, as far as Marvel movies go. He plays the part perfectly. Hell, he’s the spitting image of the character, even. One thought that stood out to me was that despite making a reference to the Avengers Initiative at the very end of the film, they must have done the rest of the movie on an independent basis. I get a strong feeling that Avengers came in as an after-thought that they just kind of threw in there. Plus, throughout the whole thing, I caught a LOT more Iron Man references to the comic books than I had before. I just paid attention to details. The terrorist group that held Stark captive in the beginning of the film is called the Ten Rings (like the Ten Makluan Rings that the Mandarin possesses), two Air Force jets are codenamed Whiplash 1 and Whiplash 2 (like the villain that appears in the next film, duh), and Tony makes fun of Rhodey in front of a bunch of cadets, making up a story where Rhodey accidentally sleeps with a dude named Ivan (Whiplash’s name is Ivan Antov). Little stuff like that always counts for geeks. I was very pleased.
• The Incredible Hulk: Wow. What a film. Definitely better than the piece of shit that Marvel spewed out 9 years ago, that’s for sure. Again, I love Edward Norton as Bruce Banner. When you think about it, you might consider the fact that he’s already a pretty buff dude, which isn’t in the character. But I guess he pulled a Christian Bale on this one, because his body type is fucking SPOT. ON. in this. Also again, special connection to countries south of the border. Always good. Plus, the love interest in this one really made me think of Becky. It was very sweet, and I missed her a lot. Upon my return to school, I was able to get a hold of her and she immediately responded “yes” when I asked whether or not she would help me run from the government if I were a fugitive, just like Betty helped Bruce. Very, very touching. And it wasn’t even that hard to tell Hulk from Abomination this time! I’m also glad they tied both a villain and the military into this one. Very creative of them. Well put-together on all accounts.
• Iron Man 2: The biggest thing that I remembered from rewatching Iron Man 2 is that Don Cheadle will never be the James Rhodes that Terrence Howard was. The biggest thing that I learned from rewatching Iron Man 2 is that mostly everyone around me agreed. But the film is still pretty good. There’s good character development, I forgot how much of a tool Justin Hammer is (hilarious!), and it builds up to the end pretty nicely in general. Despite the fact that it was nothing like the comic books ever were, Iron Man 2 is worth seeing. Also, it looks like they’re making a third one next year! Neat!
• Thor 3D: Thor gave me a run for my money! I had seen it once before and had deemed it awful. I thought that it was just a necessary gap between regular movies and the Avengers that Marvel was reluctant to take at the time of creation, but after watching it a second time, I realized that the plotline made sense and wasn’t too cheesy. Oh, well other than the fact that the whole movie takes place over the course of two days. But I just found that out. And really the only effect that has on the whole thing is that Natalie Portman is crazy and falls in love with Thor in two days. But that’s hollywood for ya!!!!!
• Captain America 3D: Always a winner for me. Captain America is an awesome movie. I love the idea that it takes place so early. Cryogenic preservation, meh, but hey, whatever works. This one was particularly interesting for me tonight because it’s the only one that wasn’t completely clear to me (the only way I had watched it beforehand was On Demand with a couple friends over… so I missed about half of it). Kid really made a name for himself. And the thing at the very end where he makes and breaks a date with his love interest :(((( it was very, very sweet and it made me miss Becky like crazy.
• Avengers 3D: DAMN MOTHAFUCKA DAMN MOTHAFUCKA DAAAAAAAMN. What a rad movie! This was the epicenter of the buildup. The 12+ hours that we had already endured had finally paid off because now we were all going to see the midnight premiere of the movie we’ve all been waiting for. And in a theater full of fellow geeks, no less! I was honored to have endured the whole thing, despite my developing headache. The teamups and other character fun stuff was great (RIP ***** *******), Loki played an excellent reprise role as head honcho villain, and, again, it was very comparable to the first Transformers movie because while it maintained a hardcore-action focus, it was so consistently funny the whole way through. Like, to the point where audience members were so caught up in uproarious laughter that I missed a couple lines. But that’s okay, because I’m DEFINITELY buying this one on DVD. And the best part is that as similar in feel as it was to Transformers, it wasn’t a Michael Bay film!

So that’s that. Afterwards, I struggled to find a cab home, got together with a 42 year old black dude who told me he likes it when girls queef and his sidekick, and split a cab with them. I got dropped off by the Boot and the Palms and walked maybe two blocks back to campus. Surprisingly, friends were awake (studying for their Friday finals, ha!) and I even got to talk to Becky. I hung my lanyard up on my closet rack on the same hook as the other medal I received this year, cleared my bed off, wrote this through the review of Thor, fell asleep, scrambled to get to Jazz Fest, scheduled a later pickup time with Jay Crutti, and finished this bad boy. I got three hours of sleep, have not showered or eaten since yesterday’s events, and now I’m ready to tackle another full day of fun. I’ll be seeing Bonerama and Rodrigo y Gabriela con C.U.B.A.! Can your plans beat mine? ;)